March 7

Again, the countdown restarts. Eve had a big event last night while I was trying to feed her. She doesn't do well if WE wake her up, but wants to eat on her own terms. Who wouldn't, right? The nurse insisted she wake up to eat, even though I'd already been trying to wake her up for an hour, and then she finally started taking the bottle and stopped breathing, bradied, etc. She also insisted I use the fast flow nipple instead of the slow flow that we always use. Why I went against what I usually do, I have no idea. Well, yes I do. I assumed the nurse had experience in feeding Eve already that day and knew something I didn't as I'm only there for 1-2 feedings per day. Stupid assumption. Turns out the nurse had never fed Eve before. I'm so annoyed. I'm sure Eve may have had an event anyway as she has been having them twice per day, BUT I'm just tired of nurses that seem to enjoy effing up the routine. Apologies again to any NICU nurses reading. I love most of you! I just can't understand why this nurse wanted it to be done differently. Did she think she would stumble across some big breakthrough with Eve that no other nurse or doctor has found in the past 3+ months???

Anyway...

Eve's doctor came by late last night to reassure me that the MRI looked good and also to talk about her progress in general. I told him I had a feeling she may have reflux and he agreed that could be an option. He already had plans to order a sleep study for her on Monday if she continues to have events this weekend. He wants to see if they are missing something, i.e. apnea or reflux. Most of her events lately are while sleeping, but soon after feeding, so it seems as there should be an explanation for them as they are fairly predictable.

Apologies for my crabby-ass attitude. I'm going on about 3 hours of sleep. I'm so done with this whole journey. No excuses, just an explanation. Hopefully we will get some good news soon and my attitude will turn around.